Kev says

Take Back Australia … Reject Socialism

The Christmas Spirit

Year after year houses put up their XMAS lights in the hope to better the neighbours displays, oops I mean in the hope to present their display better than last year.

We now have parents scrambling on roofs with a blueprint in their hands and a myriad of different lights to produce the perfect display. Now I know this is true, because I am one of those Dad’s making sure the display is just right and remembering a certain National Lampoon movie, and a particular episode of Home Improvement.

Of course it is about now the imagination is going wild and the laying of copious amounts of lights is taking shape, then just as I am reaching for my centrepiece, I remember the letter from the Civil Aviation Safety Authority warning me that they will take me to court if I use the landing lights on my roof again, it seemed some pilots were getting confused and seeing Santa and his sleigh landing on my roof guided by landing lights, made them think it was the airport, …..go figure.


Finally the lights are up the 1km of extension leads are in place and it is time to check the display. I call for my  partner to turn on the power….after a few minutes she says she is busy and can’t reach the switch, well that’s OK I thought and called out to my daughter and said turn the lights on, she came racing out of the house and said almost pleadingly she had to see her friend about her homework, now feeling dejected I went into the garage to turn the display on.

With a touch of the dramatics I said to my dog the time was here to fulfil my destiny and reached for the switch, the dog promptly yelped and ran inside to hide, great I thought that dog is scared of its own shadow. I flicked the switch and suddenly the house, garden and street was bathed in sunlight, I raced outside to admire my work and as I turned around I discovered now, only half the lights were on and so the yearly ritual of testing every globe to find the one troublesome one began and for the next three days I tested each of the 7,867 globes and did not find one that was blown. I backtracked and then red-faced realized I had apparently accidentally kicked the light plug out of the socket, in my haste to see the display.

Now I plugged it back in, turned on the switch and stood back to admire my work, it was then I realized someone had changed my blueprint (probably a jealous neighbour) and instead of Merry Christmas spelt out in lights, it now says  OMG Not Again.  Oh well, maybe next year it will work out, for now, at least my house stands out from the rest of the neighbourhood this year.

Merry Christmas everyone


08/12/2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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